Broken
by RivkAnn
Summary: "I'm falling apart/I'm barely breathing/With a broken heart/That's still beating..." Title taken from Lifehouse's song. Not going to spoil anything for anybody. Tissues may be needed. T for a reason. Starship  c  Team Starkid.


Broken

Up sat in the Commander's quarters of the starship, staring out his window. He watched blankly as the stars passed by, twinkling and glittering happily. He didn't care. The further away they got, the better. He had always liked watching the stars, but never before had he hated stars so much as he did now.

Up didn't want to see the bright balls of gas lighting up the dark and infinite galaxy. He wanted to see Earth, his home, where he belonged. And he would be there in about an hour or so. He would be there for _her_.

Turning away from the window, Up walked over to his bed. Lying down on the grey sheets, he tried to relax and let his mind wander. Unfortunately, minds tend to wander to unwanted places, and his mind went to the events that had happened a few days ago. He shuddered as he recalled what happened.

~~~~Flashback~~~~

"C'mon, jou _idiotas_! Let's kick some ass and rescue some Rangers!" cried Lieutenant Taz, leading the group of Starship Rangers out of the starship. They had landed on the recently discovered planet after receiving a distress signal from another group of Starship Rangers.

The planet, temporarily called SKP7-11, contained oxy-gen and was very desert-like in nature. A distant sun beat down on the sand and rocks. Very little vegetation grew, and there was even less water. Huge rocks formed canyons in various places, resembling what some might have known as the Grand Canyon on Earth. As Commander Up followed the last of his Rangers out of the starship, he found himself checking for his canteen. He might need it for later.

"All right boys and girls, listen up!" the Commander shouted, and the Rangers gathered around, already beginning to sweat from the heat. Grabbing a hand-held video-phone, he spoke into it quickly. "Specs, relay the message you got back at headquarters!"

"You got it, Commander!" the woman on the other line replied. Due to the adventures on Bug's planet several months ago, Specs had been promoted to a high ranking in the field of technology, which meant that she had to stay at G.L.E.E headquarters. A moment later, a very static and fuzzy recording of a panicked man began to play.

"_G.L.E.E headquarters, this is a distress signal from Lieutenant Brunsman on planet SKP7-11. We require immediate backup and medical attention. There are hostile natives, and they don't wish to cooperate. Many of my Rangers are dead or injured. I repeat: backup and medical attention. We are in a grave situation- shit, they've gotten in! Hold them off! We need backup now! Send- AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH-"_

And the recording ended. A few scared glances were exchanged. Even Taz looked a little uneasy.

"That's the end of it, Commander!" said Specs, nervously adjusting her foggy glasses.

"Can you tell us anything about the natives?" Up asked, surveying his rangers.

"Well, we don't know too much so far, Commander, but there was a blurry photo transmitted to headquarters shortly before that transmission you just heard. The natives look like… well… a scorpion, a dragon, and a spider all decided to mate." And she held up a picture, showing that her description hadn't been too far from the truth.

Ranger Krayonder, who'd been listening, winced nervously when his girlfriend mentioned the word "scorpion." He was still slightly traumatized from the injury from Pincer that happened a few months back.

"I'd be very careful of them," said Specs, putting the picture down. "Their tails and claws appear to be very sharp, possibly poisonous. Keep that in mind if you come in contact."

"Thanks, Specs! We'll check back in with ya if we need ya," said Up, and the video call ended. The sweaty group of Rangers watched as Up took Taz aside and quickly talked with her about what to do next. After a moment, they went back to the group.

"So here's the plan," Up began. "This group of Rangers seemed to have crashed not too far away from here. I've got the coordinates on my iMap. Except for the medics and Rangers Lytle and Rosenthal, who will stay here with the ship, we all walk there together as a group. But once we get to the wreckage site, we're splittin' up. Lieutenant Taz will take half, and I'll take half. We will search for survivors. If you encounter any hostile aliens-"

"Shoot deir asses firs', ask ques'ions later!" interrupted Taz, an angry gleam in her eye. Lieutenant Brunsman had trained with her back in the day when she became a Starship Ranger, and it unsettled her to hear her former classmate screaming on the transmission.

"Right," Up sighed, slightly irritated by the interruption. "Like Taz said, shoot aliens on sight, since they are classified as dangerous and ready to kill. And on an ending note, make sure you have plenty of water. I'm not havin' no Rangers gettin' dehydrated. And remember this: if you don't die for something, then I just may kill you for nothing. Now let's move out!"

The Rangers cheered, full of energy. Adjusting her zapper, Taz ran to the front of the group and began to lead them to the crash site.

About fifteen minutes later, they arrived. Lieutenant Brunsman's starship had taken a lot of damge; the ship was split into nearly three pieces. Scattered wires and metal lay around large chuncks of rocks. Yet a foreboding chill hung about the area, which one became worse as Up noticed dark stains in the dirt. Blood.

"Dis is de part where we split into _dos_ groups!" said Taz. "I want fifteen wi' me, and fifteen wi' Up. Ees time to look for survivors-"

Suddenly, Ranger Marks screamed. Whirling around, Up saw that a hand had grabbed onto her wrist. An entire torso that they had not noticed was pinned between two pieces of metal, grasping firmly onto the screaming woman. The man raised up his head, and Up cringed at the sight of all the blood.

"R-run…" the man gasped, blood dripping from his ghostly face. A second later, he slumped over the side of the hunk of metal, dead. Marks pried the hand from her arm, whimpering. Up glanced over at Taz, who looked just as sick as he did.

"We… we should all stick together now," Up said nervously, readying his zapper to the "pew" setting.

At his words, a metallic roar came from around the corner of the metal. An alien darted out at them, claws clicking in the air. With one swipe of its enormous claw, it took the head of a Ranger clean off.

"Shoot dem!" Taz cried as another Ranger fell beside her. Aliens were coming at them fast, extremely pissed off. The Rangers shot at them as best they could, but some were still falling.

Up grabbed his video-phone, quickly calling Rosenthal and Lytle. But the moment he connected, a tail connected with his hand. The communicator fell and smashed on the ground.

Cursing, Up turned back to shoot down the aliens, but found himself face-to-face with one of them. It was huge. Ugly. Frightening. And it was raising a claw for the final blow-

And then its head practically exploded, showering Up with brownish-red guts. Taz lowered her zapper, breathing hard.

"Jou crazy, Up? ¡_Vamanos!"_ the Mexican cried. And he rejoined the battle, ducking and whirling behind rocks and pieces of metal, shooting the monsters. But they didn't seem to stop coming. More and more kept emerging from a hole in the ground, conveniently located by the crashed starship…

The starship arrived a moment later. Up breathed a thanks to dead God, realizing the Rangers would've come when they saw his dropped call. The remaining Rangers, still shooting, ran towards the starship. Up followed, but stopped as he saw Taz running fearlessly at the aliens, her zapper set to "mini-rocket." Aliens exploded around her, but she didn't stop. Up then saw she had a grenade-the miniature nuke type-in her right hand.

"Taz, what the hell you doin'? We've gotta get on the starship!" Up yelled as he shot down two more aliens.

Taz didn't hesitate as she dashed over by the hole. Turning around to face Up, she calmly said, "I'm savin' all jour asses by explodin' the whole dead goddamn nest."

And with that, she pulled the pin on the grenade.

"Suck it, _hijos de puta_!" Taz shrieked as she hurled the grenade down the hole. The second she released the pin, she began to sprint, hiding behind a rock about thirty feet away from the hole. Up watched her warily, shooting more aliens.

A moment later, an explosion rocked the ground, creating a small earthquake. Flames and alien guts shot out of the hole. A screeching noise trilled through the air-the sound of the alien queen on fire.

"YEAH!" cried Taz, punching a fist into the air. She had done it. She had saved her Rangers and she had gotten the damn job done. Up smiled at his Lieutenant, feeling a rush of pride and love for her. It wasn't everyday you knew someone as awesome and lovely as Taz.

Turning her back to the destruction she had created, she began to jog over to the rescue ship, where the rest of her Rangers waited, cheering for their badass Lieutenant.

She never made it back.

From behind a large rock, a surviving alien lumbered up behind the unsuspecting Mexican, claws extended, tail flexed, and ready to kill, anger radiating from its scales.

Up's stomach dropped as he saw the hideous creature appear behind her. He opened his mouth to yell a warning to the Lieutenant, but it was too late.

With a metallic, ear-splitting roar, the alien's venomous tail whipped through the air and pierced Taz's back, coming out the middle of her stomach. The claws followed next, stabbing into her arms and lifting the suddenly silent and shocked woman into the air. Time slowed down for everybody as they realized what had just happened.

It was then that Up found his legs running faster than they ever had before, sprinting towards Taz, who was now screaming in pain. He was screaming as well, screaming in horror, shock, and anger; his wordless yells began to mix with his zapper as he fired at the monster, begging with all his might that it would release Taz-

More zappers went off behind him as Rangers Krayonder, Marks, Campbell, and Goldman arrived to help their Commander. Up arrived first, shooting his zapper directly into the alien's face. Screeching, it dropped to the ground, letting go of Taz with its claws, although the tail was still embedded in her body. With one final blast from his zapper, the alien stopped moving.

Ranger Goldman quickly cut off the tail with her pocketknife, and Taz crumpled onto the ground. Up reached her first, wild-eyed and breathing hard. For a split second, he stood still, taking her in. The tip of the sharp tail was peeking out through her now maroon tank top, and it ended a few inches out her back. Taz's screams of pain and shock had subsided to whimpers and groans, and her skin color was rapidly turning paler. She was coughing and choking, spitting blood out of her mouth, curling up into a fetal position.

As gently and carefully as he could, the Commander picked up his Lieutenant, carrying her bridal style. She groaned and pressed against his chest.

"Call HQ! Call the medics! Don't just stand there, do somethin', morons!" he shouted at the four other Rangers, who jumped and immediately began to run back to the starship. Up followed them, jogging carefully, holding Taz tightly. His heart sank to his feet as he felt her heartbeat getting slower.

Lytle and Rosenthal quickly ushered him and Taz onto the starship. A moment later, the hatch doors were shut, and the ship took off. Up nearly collapsed on the floor, Taz still in his arms. The Rangers gasped at the sight, shocked at what had happened.

"Me-medic," panted Up, struggling to control Taz's spasms of pain. "Wh-where's the medic?"

A young medic dashed over from another injured Ranger. Taking one look at Taz, he simply shook his head. "I can't do anything for her."

"BULLSHIT!" Up roared, anger rising in his chest at how easily the medic had shrugged her off. "She's injured, you have to do something, dammit!"

"There's a tail impaling her body, and I don't have all the tools I need to pull it out without injuring her further. The venom's already taken over her body, Commander. I have no antibiotic for this; I've never seen anything like it. I… I can't save her." The medic turned pale at Up's face, wrought with anger and sadness and horror.

"Then why don't you get out of my sight." It was a command, not a question. The medic looked regretfully at Taz, and whispered something about how sorry he was before dashing off to another injured Ranger.

Up turned his attention back to Taz, who was getting whiter by the second. He readjusted her in his arms so that she was lying comfortably. She groaned, and coughed. Her glassy eyes darted around the room, stopping when they landed on Up.

"Up," she whispered faintly. "I'm d-dying." She coughed up dark maroon blood, struggling to breathe, attempting to fight the venom spreading rapidly through her bloodstained body.

"No," Up said feebly. "You'll-you'll be fine, Taz. We'll get you back-back to HQ and-and the doctors there will h-help you out… you're gonna be okay-"

Taz coughed harder, almost glaring at him. "_Idiota_, I'm not _estupido_. Ees… venom. Jou… jou can't save me… I- I-"

And she choked again for air. Up could only stare blankly at the dying woman in his arms, thinking for the first time how small she truly seemed. It didn't seem real that Taz, his Taz, the woman he had secretly loved for years, was dying.

He held her close, ignoring her blood staining his uniform. All he could do in her last moments was hold her in his arms. There was nothing else he could do. A few sniffles and held-back sobs from behind him told him that his Rangers were watching. He didn't care.

"T-Taz," he tried to say, about to say what he had left unsaid for years, but she interrupted.

"Ees-ees okay, Up," Taz rasped. Weakly, she lifted a hand to his face, trying to brush his cheek, but her red fingertips could only weakly touch his chin. "At-at least I got to… to die with jou here wi' me…"

Up gently took hold of her hand, and she clenched it tightly. "Taz…"

Suddenly, she began to hyperventilate, coughing and choking on the venom that had now filled her lungs. Her hand became weak in Up's grip, and her body contracted in pain, trying to fight the venomous tail still stuck in it. Up could only watch in agony as she whimpered.

And then Taz stopped gasping. Her hand became entirely limp in Up's hand. Her head dropped loosely onto Up's arm.

She was gone.

For a long moment, Up simply gazed at Taz's body in his arms. Her usually bright brown eyes were now dull, half closed, staring blankly at nothing. Blood dripped from the side of her slightly parted mouth. The bloody chest would never again rise and fall with the intake of oxy-gen.

Less than an hour ago, she had been yelling at Rangers to get their stupid asses in line before she would do it for them.

Less than a day ago, she had stolen his mustache and dashed around the starship wearing it, teasing him about who was better while in charge.

Less than a week ago, they had watched _She's All That_ while eating a pack of RedVines.

Less than a month ago, she had broken down and confessed her deepest, worst fear to him while she sat on his lap during another sleepless night: she was scared to be alone. Up had hugged her reassuringly, murmuring that he would always be there with her whenever she needed him, and she wouldn't ever be alone.

But less than a minute ago, she had stopped breathing.

"Taz," he muttered softly, shaking her a little. "Don't-don't do this to me… please… Taz, please, don't … dead Goddammit, Taz, PLEASE, Y-YOU CAN'T DIE, NOT HERE… n-not now… please…"

He was merely talking to a corpse.

And then the Commander broke. Tears fell down his face as he pressed his forehead to Taz's, unwilling to let her go. He sobbed her name, crying out to God that this wasn't real. But God was dead, and he didn't need any proof except her body to tell him that.

And then everything slowly faded to black.

~~~~End Flashback~~~~

A knock at the door startled Up out of his reverie. "C-Commander? We're here."

Up slowly sat up on his bed, brushing away the involuntary tears that had fallen from his face. Walking over to the window, he saw that they were finally on Earth. In Mexico, to be more exact.

Although many of the Rangers killed in the attack were buried in space, Taz had once told him that if she was to die while fighting (which he had vehemently told her that it would never happen), she wanted an Earth funeral in her hometown. She had never liked the thought of burial at space. So Up had arranged (more like forced) her body to be buried near her home, where he had met her at her quinceañera.

Reluctantly, he opened the door to his quarters. Private Goldman stood there, looking slightly nervous. "The… the head says her funeral will start at, um, 1400 hours-"

He brushed past her, not caring what the head had said. Walking down the hallway, he ignored the whispers and gazes he got from other Rangers.

"They say he broke down like a baby…"

"…I heard it took six men to pull him off of her body..."

"…never knew he was so attached to Taz. I always thought they liked each other..."

"…damn shame what happened."

The funeral was short. There were a few Rangers that showed out of respect, but it was mainly the people that knew Taz the most that came. Specs and Krayonder stood side-by-side, holding hands in a solemn silence. Mega-Girl consoled an openly crying Tootsie Mega-Girl. Bug had his head bowed respectfully, and February stood behind him, tears rolling silently down her cheeks. Up stood off by himself, arms crossed, watching as a Mexican priest spoke in Spanish over her gravestone. It read:

_Tazia Cristina Lopez_

_2894-2922_

_Beloved Soldier and Friend_

After the ceremony ended, a few people stuck around to say condolences to the Commander. He didn't really comprehend most of what they were saying.

When Up was sure he was by himself, he slowly walked over to Taz's grave. He knelt down next to it, feeling the tears come again. Softly, he placed a bouquet of small red flowers next to the grave.

Up could only sit in silence. It seemed so unreal that Taz was gone. Half of him hoped it was just a dream, and he'd wake up to see her again.

He had a sudden flashback to two weeks ago, when he woke up to find Taz in his bed again. Sometimes she would crawl into his bed when she had insomnia or nightmares, and often he'd wake up to find her head buried against his shoulder, her arms around him tight. He would lie there quietly, savoring the moment, breathing in her cinnamon-y scent, gently stroking her short black hair.

What he wouldn't give just to do that again.

Tracing the letters on her gravestone, he whispered the words that he had previously been too scared to say.

"_Te… te amo_, Taz."

Suddenly, he felt a hand resting upon his shoulder, and for a moment he heard a small familiar giggle. Startled, he jumped up and turned around, but the cemetery was empty.

_You're seeing things, Up_, he told himself. But he couldn't stop Taz's voice from invading his head:

_Te amo tambien. Up._

And for a moment, Up could've sworn he saw Taz standing there in front of him, a teasing grin on her face, her red bandana shining brightly. He knew it was all in his head. _But who says it can't be real? _he asked himself. He had heard that somewhere, but he had forgotten where. Maybe in another time, before the battle of Qo'noS, before Bug World; a time with a beautiful Mexican that would die too young in the future-

He pressed his lips to her name before he stood. Brushing away the tears from his eyes, Up gave one last look at her grave.

"I love you, Taz," he whispered. "Wait for me…"

…I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain, there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

I'm barely holdin' on to you…

~Lifehouse, "Broken"

~~~~The End~~~~


End file.
